on weather again and nonsense

Let me tell you the weather here is dreadful, I feel quite edgy because of it!
Oh summer where are thou? Not in UK for sure! ;^)

Cocon  jade branch on my wall.
Necklace from Eddy and Edwina.
A 1930's silk duvet found last week in an antique market, will be in the shop soon, alongside few pink items.

Anita's clothes (she's wearing today). 
I'm glad I still manage to dress her in a way
 I like because she let me do so, she likes my style, she said. 
But I want to tell you about how difficult is to live in a place 
where people judge you because you do things in a different way. 
I struggle to understand what is wrong to cook from scratch, 
to buy from smaller independent supermarkets or in the market, 
to dress my daughter in nice comfy clothes rather than acrylic stuff,  
to try to control the quantity of junk food she otherwise would eat 
because everybody do so, to watch out the amount of time she 
waste in front of the tv and computer games, to battle day in day 
out on why she doesn't own a wii, or a whatever device to play games 
like -apparently- all her class mates and friends (what's wrong with a 
computer? is not enough?), on why she should be judge as a different 
kid only because after school she's engaged in things such learning to 
play an instrument, play some sports and so on. 
A couple of weeks ago I put in her lunch box home made cookies and 
guess what? she came home and she said to me: "mum, your biscuits 
are really good but I don't want to bring them to school any more". 
Why? Because she was told they were disgusting and your mum should 
buy biscuits from the supermarket like every normal person, as industrial 
cookies are far better than home made ones. Not to mention that a 
friend of hers came to play one day and told me that my cupcakes 
were poo-cakes! But mind you, her mum one day said to me that I 
was crazy to make "cakes" with spinach (an Italian version of a quiche) 
and outrageous to offer it to kids! :D
OK, it's official: we are from Mars!


An interesting documentary


Anonymous said...

I don't think you are on mars - i think your approach is perfectly normal! I put home made food in my kids lunch boxes - Although I am sure that sometimes they would rather have kit kat like their mates!

Jo said...

My word, you've had it tough. School is such a weird environment, I realise that looking back now. Question is should Anita just wait it out by trying to fit in or stand strong and risk the wrath.
School children have no notion of cool.

Cristina said...

You should came to London more often!

Madeleine Petite said...

Oh no you're not from mars. They are. What silly and nasty people, I am horrified ! I'm sure your cookies are delicious ( but not as good as those my husband makes:-)) and those people shoud be ashamed to tell such a bullshit.
Love your work and your blog...

alessandra said...

Anonymous, thanks, that's one of the reasons I started blogging, I know there are like minded people out there, only they are scattered around the globe!

Jo, my advice to Anita is: "don't fit in, we are not sheeps". But it's hard trust me, she's only 7yo and she struggles to stand for herself.
Cristina, yes that would be great, only it wouldn't change the fact that we actually live here and most importantly she goes to school here. To live in London and be able to send her in a good school is an option we have contemplated only is not that easy, given the astronomical prices of housing, the difficulty in finding good schools in affordable areas ad so on. London is something we could afford as a couple not as a family anymore I'm afraid.

Séverine said...

come here ! if J have limonade (bio) twice in her lunch box, kids say 'that's not good for your teeth you know' :D

Lollipop said...

I Côme fromage mars too..... Keep cooking cookies.
Ps: i love thé duvet!

alessandra said...

Séverine, I rather have that than this! :D

Lollipop Fromage Mars!? well it sounds intriguing!! I surely will keep cooking my delicious cookies in their face!HA!

Lisa said...

Ah, poo to small minded people-sheep! I think it depends on your postcode, all the things you know to be important and the more nourishing upbringing you are giving your daughter are more or less the 'norm' in the part of Edinburgh we live in. I am struggling to find a violin teacher for Ishi as they are all so busy! Martians welcome up here!xxx

C SATHAL said...

Non tu n'es pas seule :) ! Si tu savais comme ce sujet me touche depuis que je suis maman, et ça fait longtemps ;) ! Il faut lutter, expliquer, ne pas faiblir, au contraire !! et puis vive les différences, quelles qu'elles soient, c'est ce que j'ai toujours appris aux enfants !
Etre différent est un luxe, une richesse !
Ton post me touche, je m'en sens très proche. Nous n'avons ni TV, ni console, nous mangeons "tout fait tout main" et mes plus grands enfants ne sont pas du tout devenu des martiens, quoi que ... c'est cool Mars aussi ;))
Des bises
Jah love !!

matilda said...

te lo diro in italiano, perche mi essprimo meglio (quando ho un po di cose a dire;D)
c'e tanata gente ignorante e stupida intorno a noi, ma per fortuna non siamo tutti uguali e anche Anita si dovra cercare e fare suo posto al mondo, in mezzo alla gente diversa, inotlerante ma anche interessante e divera
sicuramente anche lei si vestira allo stesso modo come le sue compagne, quando arrivera questo memento, perche esiste anche il momento quando si devono sentire "del gruppo", pero le radici che le da la sua famiglia (culturali, morali, etiche, il modo di perceprire il mondo) sono un'eredita senza prezzo, che di lei faranno una donna "al posto";)
e mi interessa tanto cosa hai deto a quella anti spinacchi mammina:DD

matilda said...

e perdona la gramaticha e la "furia" con quale ho scritto il post
non ci sono le speranze con me:D

Anonymous said...

I struggled with the same things when my daughter was little and now that she's a teenager she thanks me for staying true to the things that I believed in. One thing that helped is that we put her in a Waldorf school where there were other like-minded parents and kids--- maybe there's a school around you that would be a better fit? =) best wishes and stay strong =)

alessandra said...

Thank you all, I'm very grateful for your support!
Celine, your family seem so cool to me, diversity is good indeed.Proof is that the more diverse an environment is the more thriving and interesting is.
Matilda, gli errori non li vedo nemmeno, mi sembra di sentirti parlare! Grazie per le tue parole, mi danno sostegno.Io sono abituata ad essere trattata come una diversa, tutta la vita e' stata cosi' per me e pertanto me ne son fatta un vanto: e' la mia forza, ma come madre son dispiaciuta nel vedere la mia bambina confusa e attaccata da bambine ignoranti. Alla "mammona" degli spinaci non ho risposto nulla, ero troppo sconvolta dalle sue parole, inoltre la figlia aveva avuto un tantrum a causa della vista del tortino nel suo piatto!
Lisa, we live now on a suburban area surrounded by white collars, London commuters mainly, a place where all the houses look the same.Edinburgh is a great cultural city, I would love to live there for sure!
Jennifer, thanks, what you say is comforting. I'm sure kids need consistency, as parents we do so, only as a human being sometimes I feel sick and tired of trashy culture and conformism. Thank you for your suggestion, I will investigate that.

Miss M said...

i am so sorry you are dealing with this...small towns can be so strange....stay true to yourself....stay strong.....your daughter will see how true you are to yourself and your values and learn from it...maybe at your smaller markets and such you can seek out another like-minded family so your daughter can have someone else who is the same mindset to talk to also...and if older to look up to, .
good luck...
(heck, my daughter gets bento boxes and she is the only one....and she finally thinks they are cool and relishes her uniquness :)

P R I M O E Z A said...

wow, alessandra, i'd forgotten there are people like that out there! makes me appreciate my blog and real life friends so much more!

Suzy et son lapin said...

Keep calm and carry on :-)
It must be hard in the environment you discribed and most of the kids want to blend in... Don't give up.
I admire your involvement and your style!!

Patrice A. said...

dear you!
I have been there and still am
struggling and explaining
because I do not want to fit in
my sons are 14 and almost 12
we ate different and played different
they learned wood-skills and played outside
just a little TV and a lot of imagination
but school is a different place
and kids are hard
the world can be tough
but, like you said, we are not sheep
I keep talking and explaining
that is the only way
I think

good luck!
with love
from the grey and rainy

Patrice A.

Lilli said...

Dearest Alessandra,
If it helps any, but I suppose not, I can reassure you that we didn't steal your summer. Is it suppose to be like this, year after year; grey and chilly? It seems a bit unfair after months with -30.

You already know how I feel about 'the others'. Feel sure that they are the ones from Mars. You are a real, caring, thoughtfull person. I wish there were more like you, and this world would be a different and better place. Sounds like a cliché? Well, there are a lot of truth in clichés.

Love from a very strange family that many neighbours here ignore.


PUK said...

The summer isn't in Denmark either!

I felt sad when reading your post:( I'm a teacher and I sit here wondering whether your daughter's teacher is aware that the other children behaves like that in school? Maybe you should talk to the teacher if she/he is a nice person.

That "friend" who called your cupcakes "poo-cakes" - what did you say to her? I would have sent her home!

I feel sorry for you and hope you find a solution that is good for you and Anita.

Rainy greetings from Denmark,

Louise said...

If it makes you feel any better, I think my mum was pretty much in your position 15 years ago, and I'm so so glad now that I didn't have all that crap that kids' peer pressure makes you think you must in order to be not 'different'. I thank her for it (in my head) all the time! I think it teaches you to think for yourself, eventually. xx

Bichos da Matos said...

I know exactly what you mean, we live outside Lisbon now for 6 months and we're outsiders, people are all the same here and even if we're close we're miles away from each other...But I can assure you I'll also cook biscuits and cookies for Artur's lunch box:) bacci, happy week, hopefully it will be a sunny one!

Unknown said...

How sad that people are judging you in this way! Carry on I say - there are plenty of like-minded people doing exactly the same as you. I happen to believe that your approach is the right one. Keep your chin up :)

alessandra said...

Hello and thank you all, it really has helped a lot to write a post about it and to read your responses. I'm so glad I started blogging, it's therapeutic in so many ways. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here it means a lot to me!
it's a great relief, I know it sounds strange but trust me, when the norm is that you are (mis) treated like that you start to doubt your reasons. So thank you again... also it's great to hear from new people too!!!

Unknown said...

We quit tv years ago and very often eat tofu and many kinds of vegetables.
It is official we are coming from neptune, as Celine kinda.
Tu n'es pas seule Alessandra!

Laëtitia said...

Oh I know exactly what you mean Alessandra ! I feel the same here ... food, activities, clothes ... few weeks ago a mother told me I have to let my son (nine years old) go on facebook with his friends (almost all his classroom), because now children educate themselves in their social group, so on facebook ... blablabla ... euh excuse me who's coming from Mars ? not me ! I don't think so ... silly world !

diana said...

People in this world are insane. Since when is home made cookies something bad?! Keep on going and be strong and do YOUR thing. It will make a difference and Anita will thank you when she grows older. I thank my mom everyday for growing up "a different way" and I couldn't be happier. And your way sounds like the best way anyway! Xdiana

Bohemian girl said...

Dear Alessandra,
little support from me too. I probably will not say anything new from the comments above me. I am awaiting with fear what will come out from the time when Domik will start the school. Kindergarten is OK but the best I felt in an international kindergarten that we could not afford to continue for it was too expensive. Kids and their parents had various habits and customs and all the Czech people just dealt with it no problem. I thought it should become almost obligatory for the so called normal schools to have more international kids so that the Czech parents and their kids would learn not to wonder, not to get surprised at "diferent" and live with it. I am afraid of nationalism and dangerous patriotism in general. I think it is something to be worried, it is more and more common.
But on your attitude, I keep fingers crossed, Anita is nice that she tells you that she likes what you make and do, as long as hse does, it is less hard to deal with the outter world.

alessandra said...

Bohemian girl, thank you! we should teach our children that diversity is good, diversity make culture to thrive. Yes unfortunately, patriotism is on the rage lately a bit everywhere and it's not wonder that always happen in time of recession. We should learn from history but human race hasn't evolved much, I think many people are still in the the stone age!
Regarding myself, I keep going with my beliefs and I'll pass those to my daughter, I never really cared for other people judgements, I hope I will be an example for her, that's all. Regarding the others: what goes around comes around.

alessandra said...

Thankyou Karine, Laetitia and Diana for your support! x